After reading this from someone who just knows a thing or two and has been around the block with 9 kids, I felt it was time to make something a little more 'official' for Asher and even Sophia in regards to having more structure in the line of....chores. I know they are capable. I want our children to learn how to work hard and have responsibility from a young age. On a selfish note... I want someone other than me mopping these floors someday!!!! That's NOT just going to happen either. I need to start the training NOW!

It doesn't come as a surprise to me that my kids LOVE to work. Having set something up that Asher now sees on the fridge (and I don't mess with stickers/magnets/doo-dads, it's NOTHING special folks!) the phrases I've heard more times than I can count today are..."Mom I very LOVE chores!!" ....."Mom, can you make some more chores for me to do??" I even did sit back down and reevaluate my list for him. I added several more! "What now Mom??" Gabe said..."Show him how to sweep out the garage and vacuum out the van!!!"

Kids love to work. I wonder why we as the world wait so long to utilize and mold this drive that has been put in them by the Creator Himself. I know I feel great after I put in a good day's work, whether it be cleaning, sorting, purging junk etc. My children are NO different. Sure I'm getting extra help around the house (that's a HUGE plus!) BUT more importantly no one else is going to show my kids how to work hard. This falls on nobody but Gabe and I.

Now they've always had their "things" to do, but not all of these EVERY day, as part of OUR day... as part of ASHER'S day. So I broke down and made a chart!!! for them! I've tried something similar for myself. That blew over like a big old nasty fart in the wind and I've kinda had a sour aftertaste for quite some time now! Okay, well... I don't need one, but I LOVE what others may love.

For my kids I was willing to try again. They are digging this really sorry excuse of a chart with check marks! And I love that! I'm completely SOLD on the "chore chart" for them. If one works for you than I'm digging your chore chart for YOU! I had issues being confined to a list. I rebelled and felt overwhelmed. I like to feel "lead by the spirit" , and for here laundry just has to get done every day. No sense in writing that down to be reminded about every day.

But my kids?

This is SO fun! And I'm sensing the real blessings will be invaluable to each one of them as well as me.

God is just good like that!

How good God is.

How people go through life without really knowing Jesus?

Graham and others who just need prayer and healing.

How blessed I am.

That my life is what it is because I have a heavenly Father who sees me and is jealous for me and moved for...me.

How much I love these babies we've been given. That they're not viewed as something to have when we're young to get it "over with", get them out the door, and have a 'life' back. We want these arrows to hit their target.

How much they really brighten my day.

How much they are worth every sacrifice, every drop of time and effort and tears and love.

How short life is. How easy it is to fill it with and get distracted by all the wrong things that don't ever truly satisfy.

How badly I want certain friends to experience Jesus too, for the first time. And believing in faith that they will!

How much I really love being Gabe's wife.

How much I'm able to just rest in today because of Him. I'm not even thinking about tomorrow. Not weeks or months from now. But this day. Peace and joy come as a result. This is how it's supposed to be.

How much I'm enjoying these last weeks (or is it just week) of true feeling summer outside with the kids.

How much I really look forward to when Gabe comes home from work every single day.

Today my thoughts are with my sister Randi. They often find their way to Randi and Graham's story. I'm in what seems like a constant state of prayer, praises being lifted, and a place of awe and amazement at the very evident and tangible work of the hand of our God!! We really serve a mighty and compassionate God.

I think of her long road ahead, because although things are improving each day and we rejoice with each little miracle it's still a path no one in their right mind would choose to walk on their own. I think of her boys and I'm thankful they are as young as they are while this refining goes on. I'm thankful my family is so close to her and can be there for her every day. In her last post she touched on the fact that things aren't always as 'peachy' as they appear. Facebook and the www (I like to write that) have a way of glamorizing one's life or trials for that matter.

It's really easy to have impeccable faith when you're not the one going through the trial. I still have Gabe here at the end of the work day, mentally 100% there. Emotionally involved. In our home. Under our roof. With me. To hug and hold and laugh with, and even get annoyed at. I'm even thankful he's here to even get annoyed at in the first place but it's all about perspective now...so I try not to. Randi still has Graham, yes, but it will take time to get him back. When you are removed from the situation or have never even seen it, those very real thoughts meant to hinder and scare and cause doubt of 'what if this is as good as it gets' just aren't as prevalent. I'm finding that even for myself since being a little more removed from the situation and not being right there with him.

We believe God will heal our Graham. He IS. We believe God WILL heal him as in "it's been done", but Graham is also very much still in that healing process. This could be a while. He needs constant prayers and yet my thoughts always find their way to Randi. She has much to fear and worry about. Much that attacks her moment by moment thoughts. It's that real.

This is Graham's road to recovery, but it's also Randi's journey, and sometimes even more so than Graham's!! I know she finds peace and comfort in the Lord but I also know she's only human, goodness sakes I grew up with her and shared a room. She's really kinda messy! I was ALWAYS making her bed for her and picking up HER things and putting them in a "nice" little pile by her bed that screamed "YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THESE!!!" (I know that always bugged her so... me being the nice little sis I was did it just because of that!)

I'm so proud of my sister. I also know it's not her. She gets her strength from the Lord and your prayers really are being heard. I pray that people know that it is God and give God that glory. Otherwise that is an impossible burden for her to carry.

This constant state of prayer... God wants me to be like this all the time, whatever is going on and for others besides just 'our Graham'. It's eye opening that if you draw nigh to God, He will draw nigh to you! Did I know this before. Sure. But there is someone very real out there that gets us and keeps us right where he wants us if we let him, BUSY!, with life and projects, and things that just really.don't.matter. I always get chills when I read in Job where the devil says to God where he has been... "From going to and fro on the earth, and walking back and forth on it."

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Those verses aren't meant to scare us as Christians. Thank the Lord we have been redeemed and given the power over sin through Jesus Christ!! Wow do I really love my Jesus! It can mean though that Satan really tries to mess up our walk with the Lord and keep it from being what it always could be. I don't like giving him that foothold and authority, but I know I've been guilty.

If anything this whole thing has been such a great reminder to me of how I not only could be hearing from God but honestly always CAN! There is someone who knows that very thing and knows just what to do to keep us from talking to God in ways we should every.single.day. A place of complete reliance and trust in HIM is a difficult place for the devil to reign, sometimes that's when he attacks us more! The truth is we are always in that kind of need for Him, whether we realize that at the time or not is a different story. Circumstances like this make that obvious, and even more obvious that when things are going seemingly 'peachy', it has most everything to do with God and not us.

God really does move in faith. So today I pray for Graham, but I lift Randi up in prayer that she's covered by Him for every single moment, and finding rest and strength in the TRUTH.

Home is where we plan to reside for the next 2 weekends for sure. This is exciting to us first and foremost because 1) it means Graham is doing PHENOMENAL!!! Every day he progresses, or does a little better or even something new! It's been so draining physically and emotionally especially for Randi and my family, but the little miracles each day really are encouraging that we CAN trust and believe God will heal him COMPLETELY!!

2) we get to just be... here at home, together. See friends and go to our beloved church and be with our church family! It's just been a long time even before this all happened. We have decided that we have made up for and then some our summer last year of going NOWHERE and being super anti-social. It's been non-stop for us since the end of May.

Graham still needs prayers. Randi especially. We don't know how long of a road to recovery this will be, though we believe for a complete one none the less. God has been so faithful and gracious and patient with us. We have not exactly been patient. We are learning. We are learning to wait on His timing because we believe and know He will finish what he set out to accomplish by allowing this to happen. It's actually really exciting what has already happened in not quite the short 3 and 1/2 weeks! At times it seems like an eternity, especially for Randi!, but given the report of 'no hope' for Graham it really is amazing!! We won't even know the extent of it all until we get to heaven.

Over the weekend Liam and I stayed with my parents and visited Graham at Sunny View, the rehabilitation place he is currently at. God IS healing him and yet he's in the best place humanly speaking he could be right now. That place is amazing!

Gabe and Asher headed in a different direction! The annual all Ockrin male camping trip saw yet another year at Eagle Lake. This was Asher's first year going. We thought a lot about this one!.. having Asher go. Gabe is one proud dad of his boys. I think if Liam wasn't still just nursing he would have tried to sneak him in his pack as well! After some thought we decided he was ready. He had a blast!! I wish SO badly I could have been a fly on the wall of that tent as I KNOW he was just beside himself the whole time with excitement. Days prior all he wanted to read and look at was "Just me and my Dad", by Mercer Mayer. I'd catch him looking at it, and he asked MANY questions about what he would do on his camping trip.

Sophia headed in yet another direction!... to Grandma Ockrin's. Apparently she attended a REAL tea party that cost $$ with Grandma, Aunt Zoe and her 2 girl cousins where she got dressed up, ate salmon, pumpkin soup, and was completely in her element or so I was told! Wish I could have been a fly on THAT wall too!

Liam and I ate McDonalds what seemed all weekend! Yes, Liam ate some french fries and some of my beef angus burger!! He was a little unsure but knew exactly what to do. Yes, I eat McDonalds. I always get the #13 or #14. Just felt the need to confess.

Now that some time is scheduled for here at home for a few weeks, I have begun potty training Sophia. The poor thing keeps asking so... I thought I'd 'see' where she really was at. For all intents and purposes Sophia potty trained herself in a day, yesterday. Today we've had no accidents. No the day isn't over yet, and now that I wrote that we'll probably have some! That's okay. We're definitely headed in the right direction and I'm not about to look back now. I haven't washed diapers in days!!!

Continue to keep my family in your prayers. I can't thank you enough for being faithful to whatever God keeps laying on your hearts. I pray you're blessed somehow in return for blessing us so much during this time.

Today while we believe God will heal our Graham, Liam turned 9 months.

Liam has graduated to the high chair, though he only just sits in it. With no toys and no food! He LOVES it. Gabe and I are baffled with this one. He'll sit all through dinner just watching us. He won't make ONE peep!

He has 6 teeth with 2 more trying to poke through. He weighs a little over 22 pounds. He is happy and content. He's continues to be exactly how he was the day he was born, Mr. Chill. I remember thinking something was actually was wrong with him. He didn't act like the other 2 did in the hospital especially Miss Phi-Phi mama! I now know this is how God made my Liam, and I love that!

He still just nurses, though while at Aunt Randi's found and most likely ate one lonely cheerio left on the ground from baby Keith. I saw some evidence and a face that screamed "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT?!?!?!" so I could only assume!

In due time son, in due time! You're thriving TOO well to open that can of worms just for sheer fun!

We love you babe!

These days I find myself completely torn. If I could be in 2 places at the same time there would be NO question as to where I would be: home here and walking along side of Randi my sister going through some very trying days.

I'm even more in love with God for being right there with her all the time and the place she is ultimately drawing her strength from. I just also really wish I could be with her too. All.the.time.

Gabe is extremely gracious. My babies however are not. This week has been really odd here at home. I will never use the word "difficult" again. I now know I have no idea what that word really truly means on a greater scale. For those of you with several children ages 3 and under, all I will say is ABSOLUTELY NO training/discipline for well over a week and that should give a general idea??

I myself love to go to the "Praying for Graham Stump" site and find encouragement, verses to soak up, see lives being touched, lives being changed, and all for the glory of God, and all from my sister's story. This story is unfolding right before our eyes. Funny thing is... it's God's story. Not really funny at all. Quite sad on behalf of Randi and all our extended family HOWEVER God's story none-the-less.

Sometimes when I write these stupid blog posts I get writers block (as if I'm even an author!) while I'm writing and I have NO idea what my original intention was when I started, so...I don't know much. But I am confident that God has this story already written, he's all-knowing right? Right! This waiting thing is what is hard. This trusting Him thing is what we're just really bad at as a flawed human race. I'm struggling with being patient. I even struggle with the ending from time to time.

But in seeps peace. In soars comfort and hope.

Do I believe in miracles? You betcha! I see them ALL around me. I'm actually quite amazed how many there are when they start speaking up! People who shouldn't be here are mysteriously (to the world!) still here, against ALL the odds, medically and physically. Am I praying and believing for a miracle for Graham so that Randi can have him back and those precious little boys can have their daddy to wrestle with again, and God can get ALL the glory? That is all I find myself praying for these days. I KNOW my God is able and I'm not giving up on hope and a strong belief in that!

And yet this is what I am challenged with. I see a Heavenly Father with plans unbeknownst to me. I see Jesus in the garden before his betrayers come and his conversation with the Father to 'have this cup pass from Me' and here is where I am challenged and yet find extreme peace 'nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.'

Jesus, my Jesus (as Asher now calls him) my sweet Jesus. Perfect, sinless, Heaven's glory and yet he had to go through the Father. If anyone understands it's Jesus. He shows me how to pray, how to think, how to even believe in this miracle.

So today this is my prayer while I wait upon and believe in an all-powerful and capable healing God!

Our Father in Heaven
Hallowed by Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins
For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one. Luke 11 2-4

Don't stop praying and believing with us for our miracle. Please don't stop praying for Randi, for us, and all the Stumps. Please know though we are confident God's will, will be done. That is all we want to be a part of.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Today I see first hand God's working together things for good! Asher decided he wanted- no needed- to ask Jesus to come into his heart. While reciting his verses for devotions this morning John 3:16 spoke to my not quite 4 year old!

Asher knows Jesus and calls Him his own.

You should see his smile.

Father, thank you for pursuing my children! May they always desire and love to be pursued by you!

This post is more for me than anyone else who will ever read it. These verses I am finding strength in, even for just the next minute...

Hearts are heavy as we heard yesterday the MRI results: Graham has severe irreversible brain damage. Although this is the worst outcome humanly speaking we could have heard for Graham we are not moved because our God is not shaken. Today is my sister's 7 year anniversary. God is not done with either of them, any of us!, and certainly not Graham.

 Those results... hopeless. The Dr. who shared them with Randi... hopeless. We are sad! No doubt about it, we are unbelievably sad! Words CANNOT describe my sister's pain and heavy heart that aches.

I'm home here. My heart cries. My soul aches. I take care of my kids and I sit down to weep with them and cry out to my God. We pray. We trust. We believe our God for a miracle and a healing touch.

We are not hopeless.

We come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 This is exactly that time...great need. We are indeed experiencing such grace! It is PHENOMENAL!

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We do have our moments. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, YES I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Show me YOUR ways, O Lord; teach me YOUR paths. Lead me in YOUR truth and teach me, for YOU are the God of my salvation; on YOU I wait all the day. Psalm 25:4-5

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask ANYTHING according to HIS will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, WHATEVER we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. 1 John 5:14-15

Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20

And so my continual prayer is this..."In the name of Jesus, by YOUR power, heal Graham. Be glorified!"

Oh that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! Psalm 107:8

Praise the Lord! Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for HE is good! For His mercy endures forever. Psalm 106:1

We will have a story to tell. Randi will have 'her story' to write about.

We already do! And we thank you for your continual prayers for Graham's complete and restored health. Believe with us as we pray and seek God for ultimate healing, that HE will receive ALL the honor and glory for it!

We serve a God who can do just that...

Today is day 5 since 'the accident'. If you haven't heard by now my brother in law Graham (married to the sister right above me Randi) was in a horse riding accident late Friday night. He has been unconscious since then. I got the phone call that night from my mom he'd been hurt and to start praying. Sleep was non existent for me that night as we waited for an update once he reached Albany Med and tests were done. I'll be honest it was extremely hard to not let fear set in, take over, and have a hay day!

Morning came with news of a bleed on the brain. The overall 'feel' was not good. Fear, it tried again to make it's way into my continual thoughts. The defeat of that... prayer. I can't explain it. I don't have to. The peace of God. It's real. My perspective on this has changed from that night. I'm sad for my sister that she has to go through this. It's obvious this is absolutely horrible.

Bad things DO happen to good people, because the truth of the matter is, we're really not good people. None of us. We need a Saviour. Bad things happen to us but there IS a reason. It's about God. It's about Him making a bad situation, a seemingly devastating circumstance and having good come from Him.

Graham still 'sleeps', yes. But we know God has him. We still don't know a darn thing, yes! But we know God does. God is and already has been glorified. He will continue to be honored here. I think we're all realizing this is what Graham is called to do for this time. And in the meantime of his miraculous healing so many people from all over the world are calling on and waiting on the Lord on behalf of Graham.

Life as we all knew it stopped last Friday night. Our lives before this have been put on hold. A new journey lies a head but we're not walking it alone. God is faithful to pave the way in front of us and we are just along for the ride.

My last few days have been spent here at Randi's home with my other sister Bonnie. Together with our mother we will be the ones to care for all the children, including Randi's two small boys so she is free to not even think about them while with Graham. We are working on a normalcy around here. A routine for the boys. Bonnie and I are the most like Randi so our prayer is throughout the day here with them that they will see little glimpses of Randi through us and feel comfort. I really think they already do!

Bonnie and I have what we are calling 'organized chaos', and yet we are all finding peace and comfort in this 'new' season however long. It's right where God wants us all to be.

Asher and Sophia are with Gabe's mom just 20 minutes down the road until we get things underway here on the home front at Randi's. They are having a blast but will join me here hopefully soon. It doesn't matter where we are, where we are sleeping, or how many in a room. Stability for them comes by just being with me. I will still make periodic trips back to Potsdam as I have left a gracious husband up there by his lonesome! He will join us here when time permits and for as many weekends needed.

Today Graham rests. Tomorrow they start weaning his meds off to have him wake up. God has tomorrow though. We don't worry about tomorrow. We trust him for today and today we all rest.

Last evening at dinner, Asher informed us that when he got older...

-He was going to be a daddy and have babies and play with those babies.
-He would go to work and the babies would stay home with their mommy.
-He would have a house.
-With a fridge with maybe some food in it.
-And a microwave or (pointing at it) whatever that thing was hanging above the stove.
-He would have ice cream whenever he wanted.
-He would work on his house.
-He would love Jesus.
-And somehow I would be the one to STILL make him lunch.

I really love Asher's heart.