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…really special this year. It always is, but I want to remember the why’s and how’s of each year. This one seems to be marked with the words ‘intentional’ ‘minimal’ ‘family’ ‘relaxing’ ‘time to recoup from sickness still’ and even those moments of ‘magical’ we all hope to experience and accomplish.

There really is something about taking out those boxes and bins from the basement to adorn the house in decor unlike any other season. And that manger scene, it gets me every time. What a God!

Gabe was home for quite the vacation and it’s true I shed some tears the night before we all returned to reality. I enjoy my husband, his company, the flavor he brings, the tear-completely-upside-down to routines I create to keep myself sane that somehow he’s the only one permitted to throw to the wayside for extended days at a time just because it means he is home with me, with us. He let me sleep in every.single.day of ‘his’ vacation, and I even woke up one morning where I’ve never seen him more excited! He made oatmeal bake- his own rendition and it was awesome!

Of course I managed to pick up ‘something’ at the Christmas Eve service but when you have nowhere to go and a husband and family to care for you, what difference does it really make anyways?!

We purged the basement together (it really is one of our most favorite things to do as a couple!), played outside (minus Boaz and me), visited with friends, and even had family (spur of the moment) join us for the New Year!

It was a blessing of a day. It was a blessing of a time together as a family. And now is even a blessing as we ease and slip back into the ‘norm’ again and figure out the day.

Some pictures from our special day, after of course our special annual Christmas Eve service followed by milk, cookies, and a reading of the Christmas story before bed.

Chunky started to pay attention once this was pulled out. He LOVES bananas!

Enjoying ‘purposed’ and traditional stocking treats from when Gabe was a little tot. Works well since we do our special big breakfast a bit later.

The ‘blue’ hue was  by accident.

And the most sincere thank you to SO many lovely Christmas cards which I absolutely love to receive. So many dear faces and families, some with much history, some with hardly any at all and yet a special connection at Christmas time. Faces to remember to pray for. Faces to exclaim proudly to others, “This is our family!”

This year found me again, behind, then thinking maybe I could pull of a ‘New Year’s card’, and now just really planning on being more intentional next year! Sorry Mom O, I can’t bring myself to do the old Valentine’s Day or Saint Patty’s one, yet, of which I used to laugh at you for. Now I can absolutely understand and relate!

thankful that my home is now healthy. Little eyes are crystal clear and beautiful again of nothing other than blue or green. Noses have gone without tissues for days.

thankful to be on my way to being free from a mild caffeine addiction!

counting down the days to a Christmas Holiday break with a husband/daddy home for a LONG time!

looking back on this year and counting yet again, numerous blessings.

continuing to catch the vision for home schooling. I am simply in love with it and more so a Helper suited better for the task than I, yet gives me everything I need to do this thing and do it well.

thankful for surrounding friends and homes who have caught a vision for something more.

thankful for our church, my pastor, and a place to call home in the body of Christ.

not dusting or vacuuming or scrubbing the shower (or fridge at this point!) as often as I should. But I’m thankful to have caught this ‘seasons’ thing and that we’re all going to be OK!

hoping and praying for snow. Lots of it!

pregnant with number 5! and thankful to have caught (though am realizing I’ll forever have to hold tight to) this simple truth of ‘children are a blessing’ and at all times.

(thanks to Gabe’s new work schedule) going to bed EARLY. So early, I’d rather not say, we already lost enough ‘cool creds’ with some younger college kids after I spilled those beans!

turning 28 next month. That is young yet I know, but it’s still older than I’ve even been.

happy when I go out with just Gabe. I am even happier home just doing life and loving Jesus together, and then going to bed early!

thankful for Jesus. The remedy, always the remedy! Not this. Not that. Not more of that. Not less of that. Just Jesus. This Christmas season seems heightened exactly for it and I’m freshly thankful to be on the winning side of the end battle. Not in this life but absolutely in the life to come. Jesus, for He shall save his people from their sins, Matthew 1:23, Luke 1:31. Sin shouldn’t ever surprise. That is why He came. I am so thankful for this Saviour.

My header still awaits the updated family picture I can’t seem to ‘add’ to my edited and personalized theme on Xanga. My last three tickers say “Happy Birthday Sophia!” “Happy Birthday Liam!” and “Congratulations on your NEW baby!” with not the faintest new ‘count down’ in mind.

Was it really a whole year ago I had that baby at home? Am I seriously now pregnant with baby #5 and starting a whole second trimester?! Where did that first one even go?

My keyboard was down (aka dead) when baby B’s birthday rolled around. The online keypad Gabe hooked me up with in the mean time was patience trying indeed. I put off Boaz’s special recognition post until I was able to quickly tip-tap away.

Yes, he is one now. Yes, he is the apple of all of our eyes. He’s been walking for MONTHS now. Fast walking border lining on out of control running is now more his speed. He is spunky with a bad attitude, yet at times just as quick to please and obey. I love this baby! He loves me, his siblings, and his ‘Da!’ like none other. In fact, if you are not one of us do not even try to win his affections. He is loyal to the fam to say the least!

He enjoys eating ladybugs and carrying around Lego and Polly Pocket pieces in his mouth. He climbs the stairs any chance he can get. It’s worth the discipline every single time!

First years have some of the longest days, yet they go down in record to somehow pass the fastest. The amount of ‘change’ that takes place in year #1 never ceases to amaze me!

I’m so thankful for those changes physically, emotionally, spiritually and to our whole family. We have all been blessed by this precious and special little someone we call ‘Love-Chunk.’

“So, Mom? Is his real name Chunk or Boaz?”

Today I am home with my two little guys. After quite the Thanksgiving festivities of fun, sleepless nights, eating, and go-go-going even though it is Friday I find we are all STILL recouping in some form or another. While I sit here with Liam hugging my side and my head begging me not to stand up unless absolutely necessary I’m freshly thankful for a community of people I can always call upon. We may not have family close by, but my goodness, this is just as good.

Words that describe my day/feelings/emotions at any given point, were you to ask? FULL, thankful, blessed, spoiled, tired but functional!, happy, hungry, nauseous, in love with the atmosphere of our home, in love with my children and the uniqueness of each one, completely and utterly adored by my husband, in love with a ‘God-sought hard after’ spiritual leader for our home and my own life, thankful for the Holy Spirit present.

I’m basking in lots of grace these days. The spirit of God seeps heavy in our home. It beckons me to rest, find purpose, know His heart and make it my own, rise up, be more, be refined. I am amazed with what we end up accomplishing in one day: school, chores, housework, training, ministry in and outside of the home, time to rest and relax and enjoy this season in the midst of chaotic and busy times, time to slow down and sip tea or hot cocoa with my kids, and time to create home as a haven and not a place running to and from just to get to the next place. This is thee place and I know with all of my heart that the ministry that goes on right in between these four walls will be the best ministry Gabe and I will look back on that we could have ever been apart of. We talk about that often, family and generational building. The influence these kids will have will go beyond what Gabe and I will ever be able to accomplish on our BEST day. That excites us! It takes those mundane and overwhelming days and turns them into perspective, Kingdom perspective. I may feel lost in diapers and bedtimes and sleepless nights and rightfully so, but I’m ever gently and often reminded those things will simply burn. I already see how they have with older ones. They will pass. They are a season. “You can EVEN learn to enjoy them and I’ll go so far as to give you supernatural grace strength and rest along the way! I have something more, keep trusting MY plan and MY purposes. It’s GOOD!“

And I can attest that it is good! It’s not easy but I am certain the phrase ‘it will be easy’ is nowhere to be found in my Bible.

A new routine has crept into our late afternoon. Gabe now finds himself, or rather I in an ecstatic state watch for him to walk up our doorstep anytime between 4 and 4:30. He wakes up and leaves MUCH earlier as a result, well before any of us are even remotely thinking of crawling out of warm beds. The thought of when his alarm actually goes off gives me those early morning chills I can’t help but despise. In this current season, I realize I am really the one on the receiving end in this scenario. Maybe once first trimester sleepys pass we will actually stick to (for one day!) the carefully thought out and planned schedule for this new window of time we have on our hands. Until then, I am thankful for a sensitive and understanding husband!

The kids are growing like weeds. Boaz turns one next month! And while I sneak in this time to even update at all, I write with a growing babe inside, should you have caught that! I am (supposedly) 12 weeks today. An early summer birth will be, Lord willing, welcomed! The kids are ecstatic! Family was told over Thanksgiving’s what we’re thankful for this year. We are just that, thankful! Thank you to those who received our news with just as much excitement as we did and kept our secret so family could hear directly from us.

Typical first trimesters past find me on the couch from the time Gabe leaves until the time he comes home. I am at best able to feed, change, and to the best of my exhausted state keep myself and the kids alive. This time I haven’t seemed to have skipped too much of a beat. I kept waiting for it to hit. The limbo state I found myself in was quickly termed the ‘calm before the storm.’ The storm never quite hit. I have been entirely grateful for that. While the others may have been just fine taking care of themselves I am pretty sure it would have been the death of Boaz. I rest in knowing God knew that this time around and graciously spared me, or rather him!

This Christmas season has already found me slowing down (on purpose), soaking up traditions and the time to explain them, point them back to Jesus, and all because without Him they are just.meaningless.traditions. Come afternoon I am ready to drink another cup of something hot (surprisingly caffeine which has never been the case before either for the first 13 weeks or so!), turn on the Christmas music or movies, bake cookies, and cook! Food has really been my best friend to aid in the nauseousness. Thanks to a functioning state of mind and overall well being this hasn’t been a typical first trimester of oatmeal and eggs cooked solely by Gabe! I can tell everyone has been basking in the grace department. The cooking aspect has been appreciated in fresh ways from the man of the house this time around, though he would NEVER complain.

So while this body seems to finally for the moment say,  “SLOW DOWN ALREADY” I do so gladly knowing although I may just be sitting a lot today, a whole new person is being formed and fashioned and that just never ceases to amaze me!

We have been in birthday celebration mode pretty much all week! Although it’s definitely winding down, we still have yet ONE MORE special evening planned. This was mainly due in part to, ‘Mom got too partied out and needed a break in between the 2 party days to recoup and sit down for more than 5 minutes’, in which case we only get to spread the festivities out that much longer! It is a win-win for all!

Today is the day most special of all. Today he actually turned this long awaited and talked about 6. “Mom, it’s fun to be a whole NEW year, but I’m going to miss 5.” That right there made/makes me smile inside because THAT is my Asher. He is sensitive, conscious, cautious, hardworking and diligent (usually!). He is also in tune to feelings. Much of that right now is learning about his own and how to handle and deal with them the right way.

Many times a snap shot in life takes place and only moments after I feel a gentle tap on my arm and a quiet voice by my side, “Mom, did I hurt your feelings when I _________.” Or, “Mom, do you think Dad was sad when I said/did ___________.” When I stop to really think about what his little heart is pondering I realize this boy is one who cares about the little things and how those little things can really affect someone.

I am so thankful for Asher. He is a treasure to our family, to me. Lately when I think of Asher, this firstborn, I have been thinking ‘brother’. He is a good big brother and I am proud of him!

Sunshining Asher. This child brings joy to my heart and often myself to knees in prayer. I know a lot is in store for him. I feel the weight of his calling often and wonder, “How did I get this unique and wondrous package to care for? I am not fit to be this kind of special mom for such a special person who will one day be a man.” But somehow by God’s grace and power in me I am exactly what this boy needs for a mom. I am humbled beyond measure to have the influence I have been called to and perfectly made fit to have in his life.

What an incredible blessing and responsibility! Our first born gem, Asher: (happy, blessed) Lucas.

 
Brother, Asher.

November is a busy month for us! Besides the start of welcoming the holidays in and all the plans and details we start scheming up with our respective families, we also find ourselves freshly thankful to celebrate two very special boys just three years apart!

Liam Oliver! I cannot tell you how much we adore this kid. We often find ourselves not alone in seeing the ‘specialness’ of this boy. He melts many hearts. Says cute things one right after another. He can make me want to pull out my hair one second to then bursting into tears laughter the next. I often find myself just watching Liam. He is a fun person to observe. I love being home to be able to do just this. I love Liam’s little voice. I love his OUT OF THIS WORLD long blonde eyelashes.

He is a bottomless pit. A boundless never ending story of energy. He wakes up running the second his little feet touch the floor. He loves ‘ate-meal’, telling stories of ‘when I was a whittle boy‘, making us laugh at dinner, and Winnie the Pooh.

Two with Li has been one of the most precious I can remember. I am sad in a way to say goodbye to it. He is my ‘Little Lamb Pie’ from birth. I still get free passes to call him ‘Bubby Chunk’ from time to time. I will be sad the day I don’t hear, “I need a hug.”

But Liam is definitely a force to reckon with! We are still heavily in the ‘now, how do we channel this in the RIGHT direction season?’ however there are too many wonderful things in store to keep him running around the house in his little white Fruit of the Loom underpants just because it is one of the most precious things we have ever seen. I have yet to see broader shoulders and more HAIR on a toddlers back!

Yes, Liam was made to be a man. And the call on him by God is so great. It is so good. And we love love LOVE seeing how this toddler, now very much BOY, continues to be used for a purpose much greater than what meets the eye. And let me tell you, a lot meets your eye with this precious little soul!

Tonight, per request, we will fine dine on homemade pepperoni pizza and roasted broccoli. Chocolate cupcakes with white icing have yet to be made. Pictures and parties (a couple of them, some just us, one to be had with cousins and grandparents and cheeseburgers and french fries for both boys) are much of what we have planned ‘extra’ for our week.

Happy day Cutie!

Asher’s favorite part of the day? “Cafeteria Time!”
Sophia’s favorite class? “Lunch.”
Liam? “Snack Time, Mom.”

We really do love you Friday school! And food.

We all love food! (the spread in the teacher’s lounge really was amazing if I do say so myself!)

I’m not sure when it became October, soon to be mid October nonetheless! I’m not sure when baby Boaz started to choose walking over the fast and preferred crawling. I’m not sure when Sophia started coloring so perfectly in the lines, but she does now and it’s beautiful! I couldn’t tell you the day or week it happened that Asher finally was able to clean the kitchen sink by himself without me checking or instructing. Now when I look at it, it will forever shine in my mind right along with his proud and hardworking smile, “Mom come look at my work!” I don’t know when that plant by the sink got so tall and gangly looking. I’m not even sure most days what we did or what happened ‘yesterday’. I just know we lived life and it was full. I know things do not happen over night, though sometimes I’m certain they must. The baby really didn’t just turn into a full blown toddler one night while we all slept, or did he?! Over time we progress. Things change. We change. The kids grow up. I can see it in their eyes.

Today I am thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. It has not happened over night. It has been quite the opposite. Much like what appears to go on here, a little every day, because most times even it escapes my recollection. But one thing is for sure, it’s as certain as the rising and the setting of the sun. He is so faithful even when I am not. And it has not happened without stretching and growing and at times what seemed really rather uncomfortable and hard to yield to Him. There were places and things in my heart I never wanted to surrender. The work He’s done and who He continues to prove Himself to be has now turned many of my ‘never wanted to’s’ or ‘why would I’s’ into ‘why wouldn’t I’?

And really now, in talking about this God, the one true God who gave himself for me. Who finished it at the cross but didn’t leave me and the work that still needs to be done wondering if I’m able or if it’s worth the change and fight at all. He whose ways are higher. Whose heart is to be known in every single matter and sought hard after because it’s different than my own. He who gave me my very life to honor Him with.

Why wouldn’t I?

THAT is the work of the Holy Spirit. And today I am thankful He is ever present in my life. May I yield more and more to Him.

Tomorrow marks our second year participating in our churches home schooling enrichment Friday Program. We’ve been counting down the days. Got a few of them mixed up. Panicked it was happening sooner (me!). Tomorrow is truly the day! As a VERY special treat, because we don’t do ‘those’ too often, the kids each received something to make their experience that much more ‘enriched’ because if anyone truly knows my kids they know how much they LOVE to eat! Food and anything ‘snack’, ‘dessert’, ‘breakfast’, ‘lunch’ or ‘dinner’ is WHERE it’s AT!!!!

I catch him standing and it bewilders me. When did he become such a little person?

Special new lunch sacks! How fun to pick out and ‘to know’ what each one of my children would love! These people are precious to me.

 

“Boaz is one whole month YOUNGER than Asher AND Liam were during the summer months so SURELY I will have ‘that much more time’ before ANY sort of mobility takes place. SCORE! What a wonderful and relaxing summer this will be for ME!”

WRONG WRONG WRONG!

Expectations for my summer were brought back to reality and the realization (again) that these little people with souls and feelings and emotions are all SO different right down to those silly little meaningless milestone markers!

Boaz has much personality! I knew that those early weeks as a newborn. Fourth child doesn’t seem to slow him down. He plays, wrestles, and acts much older than I remember any of the other ‘babies’ acting. He has older influence in his life (3 of them!) and it shows. Family dynamics are awesome!

Although we are STILL in full fledged summer mode, I AM starting to (more than I thought I would!) look beyond to days where the changing of the seasons and the structure and rhythm that home schooling provides will (I THINK!) be welcomed. That is REALLY encouraging to me seeing as I could not close the books soon enough at the tail end of our first year. Change and the changing of the seasons does my soul well! Living in the north country suites me just fine. Home schooling really is a perfect fit for us, for me. I look forward to another year of sinking my feet in a little further no matter how clear or muddy the waters may be.

I have been completely refreshed, challenged, and encouraged by these verses.

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all. 1 Timothy 2:5-6

The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11

For all those things MY hand has made, and all those things exist,” says the Lord. “But on this one will I look: on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word.” Isaiah 66:2

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. John 10:27-29

I need Jesus. My husband and children need Jesus.

This world needs Jesus.