Today I am home with my two little guys. After quite the Thanksgiving festivities of fun, sleepless nights, eating, and go-go-going even though it is Friday I find we are all STILL recouping in some form or another. While I sit here with Liam hugging my side and my head begging me not to stand up unless absolutely necessary I’m freshly thankful for a community of people I can always call upon. We may not have family close by, but my goodness, this is just as good.
Words that describe my day/feelings/emotions at any given point, were you to ask? FULL, thankful, blessed, spoiled, tired but functional!, happy, hungry, nauseous, in love with the atmosphere of our home, in love with my children and the uniqueness of each one, completely and utterly adored by my husband, in love with a ‘God-sought hard after’ spiritual leader for our home and my own life, thankful for the Holy Spirit present.
I’m basking in lots of grace these days. The spirit of God seeps heavy in our home. It beckons me to rest, find purpose, know His heart and make it my own, rise up, be more, be refined. I am amazed with what we end up accomplishing in one day: school, chores, housework, training, ministry in and outside of the home, time to rest and relax and enjoy this season in the midst of chaotic and busy times, time to slow down and sip tea or hot cocoa with my kids, and time to create home as a haven and not a place running to and from just to get to the next place. This is thee place and I know with all of my heart that the ministry that goes on right in between these four walls will be the best ministry Gabe and I will look back on that we could have ever been apart of. We talk about that often, family and generational building. The influence these kids will have will go beyond what Gabe and I will ever be able to accomplish on our BEST day. That excites us! It takes those mundane and overwhelming days and turns them into perspective, Kingdom perspective. I may feel lost in diapers and bedtimes and sleepless nights and rightfully so, but I’m ever gently and often reminded those things will simply burn. I already see how they have with older ones. They will pass. They are a season. “You can EVEN learn to enjoy them and I’ll go so far as to give you supernatural grace strength and rest along the way! I have something more, keep trusting MY plan and MY purposes. It’s GOOD!“
And I can attest that it is good! It’s not easy but I am certain the phrase ‘it will be easy’ is nowhere to be found in my Bible.
A new routine has crept into our late afternoon. Gabe now finds himself, or rather I in an ecstatic state watch for him to walk up our doorstep anytime between 4 and 4:30. He wakes up and leaves MUCH earlier as a result, well before any of us are even remotely thinking of crawling out of warm beds. The thought of when his alarm actually goes off gives me those early morning chills I can’t help but despise. In this current season, I realize I am really the one on the receiving end in this scenario. Maybe once first trimester sleepys pass we will actually stick to (for one day!) the carefully thought out and planned schedule for this new window of time we have on our hands. Until then, I am thankful for a sensitive and understanding husband!
The kids are growing like weeds. Boaz turns one next month! And while I sneak in this time to even update at all, I write with a growing babe inside, should you have caught that! I am (supposedly) 12 weeks today. An early summer birth will be, Lord willing, welcomed! The kids are ecstatic! Family was told over Thanksgiving’s what we’re thankful for this year. We are just that, thankful! Thank you to those who received our news with just as much excitement as we did and kept our secret so family could hear directly from us.
Typical first trimesters past find me on the couch from the time Gabe leaves until the time he comes home. I am at best able to feed, change, and to the best of my exhausted state keep myself and the kids alive. This time I haven’t seemed to have skipped too much of a beat. I kept waiting for it to hit. The limbo state I found myself in was quickly termed the ‘calm before the storm.’ The storm never quite hit. I have been entirely grateful for that. While the others may have been just fine taking care of themselves I am pretty sure it would have been the death of Boaz. I rest in knowing God knew that this time around and graciously spared me, or rather him!
This Christmas season has already found me slowing down (on purpose), soaking up traditions and the time to explain them, point them back to Jesus, and all because without Him they are just.meaningless.traditions. Come afternoon I am ready to drink another cup of something hot (surprisingly caffeine which has never been the case before either for the first 13 weeks or so!), turn on the Christmas music or movies, bake cookies, and cook! Food has really been my best friend to aid in the nauseousness. Thanks to a functioning state of mind and overall well being this hasn’t been a typical first trimester of oatmeal and eggs cooked solely by Gabe! I can tell everyone has been basking in the grace department. The cooking aspect has been appreciated in fresh ways from the man of the house this time around, though he would NEVER complain.
So while this body seems to finally for the moment say, “SLOW DOWN ALREADY” I do so gladly knowing although I may just be sitting a lot today, a whole new person is being formed and fashioned and that just never ceases to amaze me!
