July 20, 2012
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a death part two…
On a Friday we set out to Harrisburg, PA to join family and walk out just part of the journey that our dear loved ones were facing. We made it as far as Watertown (a mere 1.5 hours from home!) as a bathroom brake was already in order. I stopped to nurse the baby while the free access allowed.
It was then I got word from my mom, “Yesterday Grandma was in a lot of pain with her back, so around 8pm last night she was so uncomfortable that Grandpa wanted her to go to the ER. So we called the ambulance, and dad drove Grandpa down. They all were home by 2am. Grandma is not good. They did a cscan and her cancer is everywhere and in everything…liver, kidneys, lungs, bones. We have to get her on a routine pain maintenance thing, and then hospice. Just have to keep her comfortable for now.”
That next Thursday we dropped all plans and drove the little way to Grandma’s bed side to sit with Grandpa. I will never forget the state of her room and the presence surrounding it. It was sad but there was peace. Grandpa was either in a state of tears or chuckling about a quirk of hers that often led to more tears. He talked about her love for Jesus. It was a comfort to us all. She lay in a state of sleep, in complete peace.
She lived 91 years and although that is a ripe old age, as she lay there her life still really embodied the ‘life is but a vapor’. It goes really fast even when you do live to be old. She had 90 years to do what she wanted with her life and she chose to live it not for herself, not seeking after selfish ambitions, or dead end religions.
She chose Jesus and the good in her was because of Him. Some people who knew my Grandma called her an angel. I’ll admit I think she had hair like one! It was beautiful and part of her crowning glory for sure. What people may not have pieced together was that they were witnessing the very fruits of the Spirit in her. Gentleness, patience, and meekness were just a part of who she was because of the work He did in her. What she allowed Him to do in her.
What I treasured most of my time by her bed side was recognizing that although she couldn’t at that moment talk or open her eyes, she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to tie up loose ends with her maker or wonder or worry if what she thought or believed and did all her life was enough. At that moment there was no physical way she could have. I was thankful she chose what she chose while she still had the chance to. Grandpa wasn’t left to wonder either. What a gift she gave to him! Her life reflected her choice to worship the Creator and not the created.
“So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 10:32
It’s never a question of ‘will we worship?’ it is always a question of ‘what will we worship?’ That thing in us to worship was put there by God himself. It became twisted with the fall of man and ever since we’ve been looking else where to fulfill it, seeking our own way, or going so far as to take an opinion or idea of yet just another flawed human being and believe it as truth without ever asking the real tough questions ourselves. Which quite frankly is right where the enemy wants, has, and keeps us. Because as long as the devil can keep us from facing ourselves and our own need for change and holiness, he keeps the very one thing we were designed for from us. Fellowship with God. Restoration and redemption for our sin is never experienced.
“You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3
Again, I was over taken with thankfulness that my Grandma had put her trust and faith in the truth and thankful for the same God who made a way for us made a way personally for her. I loved my grandma and at that moment it was about her.
Yesterday a tragic accident happened on Rt 11 and 6 people were killed. My heart grieves for those families. They have great loss. How much to them ‘life is but a vapor’ rings loud and clear? Today it is tangible to them just how precious and short life really is.
Live it serving that someone worth your praise and worship. Live it serving that someone who knows you because He made you in His own image. We represent the one true God himself. He knows our inner most darkest secrets and the depth of who we really are and loves us with abandon anyways because it was while we were yet sinners (mocking the very face of Jesus, denying who he really was, and spitting in his face) that He died for us. Romans 5:8
There is no other love like this. And my grandmother was just another who got to bask in it.
